My Journey of Jess

We love Chuggington.

2011-04-02T19:35:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while as i visit some of the blogs I have come to enjoy reading, I come upon a giveaway that I decide to enter. I was lucky enough to win a couple of times last year. A couple of weeks ago I was informed that I had been lucky again :)

I had entered a giveaway at Callista's Ramblings for a new DVD called Chuggington: Let's Ride the Rails. Since we don't have cable, my boys are lovers of movies. We enjoy lots of Disney movies, Veggie Tales, Backyardigans, Handy Manny, Magic School Bus, etc. They love all things automotive. Planes, cars, trucks, trains and anything else they can get their hands on. When I saw this DVD I knew that they would be very interested to check it out.

When it arrived it didn't take us long to get it put into the DVD player. The boys had seen an episode of Chuggington at their Gramma and Grampa's house while visiting there and were excited to tell me who the different characters were.

The colours are bright and the CGI animation is great. The stories center around three trainees, Wilson, Brewster, and Koko as they learn about life on the rails and becoming productive chuggers. All three of my boys enjoyed this video and I'm sure we will be checking out some of the other Chuggington titles.

If you have a child that likes trains, check out this fun series. It's cheerful and works in some life lessons into the episodes as well.

A big thankyou to Callista's Ramblings for this great giveaway. We are certainly enjoying it.

General Grievous + The Emperor = Cool Mom

2011-03-22T17:57:00.000-07:00

...well, atleast for today :)

I love my boys. They are bundles full of energy, attitude and dirt. They drive me crazy. They make me laugh. On one hand I yell at them too much, but on the other I give them extra chances too. There are days when I am sure they don't like me very much, but there are other days when I KNOW how much they love me!

As a parent there is always a desire to give your kids the things that they want. Obviously giving them EVERYTHING they want is not wise, but some times it bums me out when one of them asks for something they REALLY want and we just can't afford to get it. Finding things that don't cost anything but make the boys feel like they have been given something awesome can be a challenge.

Today I had the pleasure of finding one of those things :)

My older two boys LOVE playing Star Wars Lego on the Wii. It is actually fun to watch them play sometimes. This game can be played just sitting on the couch, but not for my boys. They hop around and jump and swing. They get their very own little workouts.

One of their favourite parts of the game is opening new characters. They do their best to earn points to be able to do this. They try hard, but they die.....alot. Every time you die you lose coins. Over the last few weeks they have talked alot about wanting to open General Grievous and the Emperor. General Grievous was 70 000 coins, and the Emperor was 250 000!!!! Those numbers are HUGE when they get to numbers like 25 000 and want to spend them. LOL

Well last night I decided that I would try and help them earn some coins to get these two characters opened. Now, i must admit that I enjoy video games. I don't play alot, but when I do, I can lose track of time....easily. Last night was no different. I started to play about 8pm and at 10pm I finally shut it off. Wow, just like that 2 hours were gone!

But, it was 2 hours well spent. I happened upon a level where it was pretty easy to add up the points. I just kept playing the same level over and over. I was successful enough to open both the General and the Emperor as well as several others. But the best part for me was opening a x2 multiplier and invincibility. Now the boys will have a better chance of earning the coins and keeping them.

Fast forward to this morning.

Normally I don't let the boys play video games before school, but I was so excited for them to find out what I had opened that we turned the game on. They were so happy and Mommy was totally cool! It was awesome fun.

Sometimes its the simple things :)

LIFE.....

2011-03-21T09:46:00.000-07:00

As you take your first breath, only God knows how long it will be before you take your last. From your first sunrise to your last sunset, will it be a mere moment, or many many years? Will it be a good life? Will it be full of joy, laughter, and love? Will you look back on your life with amazement at how far you've come, or with regret of all the things you didn't do?

Life....

Much of it is lived by the choices we make. What courses to take? What career path to follow? Where to live? Who to love? We make so many choices each and everyday. What to wear, what to eat, what to do? Some little, some HUGE.

But what about the choices we didn't make? The times when life deals you a hand that you don't want to play? The times when we question what God is thinking and how, if He truly cared, could He let this happen?

Today I am thinking about and praying for a friend who is dealing with just that. A few days ago her Mom went to the doctor because she didn't feel well. The next day they figured it was something to do with her gall bladder. Not fun, but handleable. Today its a very aggressive form of cancer with possibly only weeks to live.

In an instant she went from believing she had years left to share with her mom to not knowing if today is the last day that they will get to share a conversation, a laugh, a hug, or anything at all.

It hurts me to imagine what she is going through.

I think about my own mom who was ill for several months during the winter, and of my mother-in-law who has battled a myriad of health problems and disease for years and years. I love them both with all of my heart and will be devastated when God finally calls them home. But my friend's situation has me wondering...if one of my moms died today, would I look back with regret or would I be confident that they knew how very much I loved and appreciated them?

How often do we get sucked in by the routine of our lives and forget about those we love. When was the last time you called your Dad, your sister, your Aunt, or a friend just to say I love you and you are important to me. Do your kids know how much they mean to you? How proud you are of them and how blessed you are that God gave them to you? Does your husband know that you are so very grateful to have stuck it out together through all the rough spots and treasure the strength of your marriage and love today?

I don't want to live life always wondering if today is the day I will lose someone I truly care about. That is no way to live. I do want to make sure that I take the opportunities that I am given to have those I love KNOW that I love them, that they are special to me and that I am truly thankful that God brought them into my life.

Life is short.

The end comes without warning.

Choose to make the most of every second you have.

Be a blessing to those around you.

Take the time to write a note, send an email, make that phone call.

Cherish the moments we've been given, and enjoy all of those amazing people in your life.

Tales of Three

2011-03-01T15:03:00.000-08:00

I am proud to say that I am Mom to three awesome little boys.

They have changed my world, changed my priorities, changed my life.

They are full of energy, creativity, imagination, laughter and an abundance of love.

They make me laugh, cry, sing, shout, scream, dance, play, and snuggle.

They are loud.

They get dirty.

They are ours:)

One of the things I love the most about my boys is their love for each other.

They are proud to be big brothers.

They CAN share.

They encourage and celebrate each other's accomplishments.

They make each other laugh.

There are fights...... of course.

There are Star Wars battles

and then there are battles over Star Wars.

There are Lego Wars and there are wars over Lego.

There are arguments about who gets what plate, who sits where, who goes first, who didn't put their toys away and so on, and so on, and so on.

But, if push comes to shove....

I know they have each other's backs:)

Blink and you miss it!!

2011-02-28T11:55:00.000-08:00

I find it remarkable how fast time flies! When you are a kid everything seems to take an impossibly long time...unless you are having fun. Now as an adult with 3 young boys, I feel like I blink and a week has flown by. Heaven forbid I take a nap, there goes a month!!! Time just seems to disappear right before my eyes.

Back in the end of November I had decided that I would take some time away from my blogs. That would allow me to get through my oldest son's birthday parties, Christmas and New Year's. Then, I would start back fresh in January. What happened? Where did the time go?

Today is February 28th, 2011. Holy camoly!!! More than 3 months have gone by since my last post, and 2 whole months past when I had planned on being back!! CRAZY!! Apparently my New Year's resolution of being more organized with my time has not proven easy. However....

Here I sit. Eager to return.

So, I hope you had a great Christmas, lots of parties and wonderful family time, an awesome New Year's, hopefully not too too much to drink, a January full of fresh beginnings, a happy Valentine's Day and a fabulous Family Day too!!. I hope that 2011 is treating you well so far and that you are looking forward to how the remainder of the year unfolds for you and yours.

I hope that you might find me again and continue this journey here with me, as well as checking out my Gratitude Blog here (which has also been sadly neglected). As always, your comments are most welcome and I look forward to visiting with you again soon.

Today's truth

2010-11-25T18:19:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was weigh in day.

Bummer.

When I woke up in the morning I didn't want to go.

I knew that I was up, and up ALOT.

I got into the shower.

As I stood there having the hot water wash over me I realized something.

There was NO reason not to go.

Yes I knew I had gained,

but I was okay with that.

My hubby and I had finally had a weekend to spend with each other without our 3 kids, and I THOROUGHLY enjoyed it!

I wouldn't change it.

So, to my meeting I went.

I weighed in.

I gained.

ALOT.

But I'm fine with that.

Today is a new day.

Bring on next weeks weigh in.

Want to join in on the blogging fun?

Join Diminishing Lucy's Fat to Fit Thursday Blog Hop.

Makeover Week

2010-11-24T11:57:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am a fan of the Biggest Loser.

I haven't seen every season, but I have enjoyed the ones that I have.

This season is no different.

Sure there are always contestants that I don't like so much...(Brendan), and others that seem to grow on me.....(Ada).

But ultimately I just enjoy seeing the amazing transformations these people go through.

This week is
Makeover week.

Always a fun episode to watch.

They revealed their transformations with a fashion show.

Watching each of them strut their stuff on the catwalk you could see how thrilled each of them was with the progress they have made so far.

Watching some of their families/friends reactions when they got to see them was so touching.

Seeing the faces of Frado's children brought me to tears. These kids are in their teens, and have never in their lives seen their Dad at the weight he currently is. He had always been much heavier.

It made me think.

My kids have only know this version of me.

That makes me sad.

I want to show them a Mom that can be active with them.

A Mom that cares enough for them, AND for herself, to do what it takes to get healthy and strong.

To prove to them that anything is possible if you want it bad enough.

Makeover week.

Eventually I'm going to have my own Makeover week.

I think that needs to be a reward for reaching one of my goals.
Not sure which goal yet, but I'll think on that.

I have so work to do.

Cowboy Gabe

2010-11-23T05:39:00.000-08:00

Do you ever take pictures of your kids and wonder where the heck they got "THAT" from?

The weekend of Halloween Gord dressed up for work as a Wyatt Earp type character, complete with guns, cowboy hat, and spurs. He looked great. The boys thought it was great too...especially the guns (of course).

When he got home from work that night he handed Gabe his hat, and the following are what came out of it.

It starts with this...

a little smirk as he notices Mom is taking a picture.

Then, of course, the guns come out.

Notices Mom is still taking pictures, and really starts to get into it.

Now for the cowboy face...

Now just for the Ladies...

Howdy Ma'am

And we finish with this.

Too funny! I laugh at these every time I look at them. Gotta love him.

But wait, before you go, you have to see

Zach 'The Kid'

Ain't he just the cutest?

Wonderful Weekend

2010-11-22T11:34:00.000-08:00

I decided after my last post that I didn't want to blog anymore if I couldn't blog in a more positive way. Who wants to read such depressing stuff all the time?

So, I took a break.

Today I am back, and hopefully with a better heart attitude.

Mondays are for Mommy's Musing and I am going to use this post to tell you about the wonderful weekend I just had.

Originally hubby was supposed to be off all weekend, but after being off sick for more than a week at the beginning of the month, it was just not going to happen. Friday was his scheduled day off, so we still got that.

The day started off pretty much the same way it usually does with the boys up and me nagging at them every couple of minutes to get dressed. Eventually they arrived at the table for breakfast. Daddy got up (which usually doesn't happen on the only day he has to sleep in) and enjoyed breakfast with his boys as I got lunches made and backpacks ready for school.

By 8:20am the boys are on the bus and I am back in the house to get myself some breakie. Gord is back to bed, and Isaac and I are hangin' out enjoying our morning. Naptime comes for Isaac and after getting some emails sent and checking out facebook I decided that I would take the opportunity to nap too.

Naptime was great. We napped much later than I normally leave Isaac (he usually has an afternoon one too). We decided that since we had to be at the school to pick up the boys at 3:30 (instead of waiting for the bus to drop them off), we would let Isaac nap as long as possible and only give him one.

Everybody up and lunch done. Then showers, and the boys bags packed for the weekend. We hadn't told them they were going to be away for the weekend and I wasn't sure how that was going to be received when we picked them up. We picked them up and when everyone was buckled into the car we let them in on the weekend plans. There were some teary eyes when they heard that they were going by themselves, and we were told that we'd be missed SO much! (Thanks for the tear at my heartstrings, but you are still going!)

We arrived at Auntie Dawn's and I braced myself for the pending tears, wails and neverending hugs. In we walked, down into the family room we go. Low and behold, there is a new tv at Auntie Dawn's and its a HUGE one! Problem solved. Had to tear them away just to get kisses, hugs and goodbyes. Isaac was a little unhappy, but our nephew took him and we were out the door.

Back in the truck I took a deep breath and slowly let it out. I was going to be kid free for the next 43 and 1/2 hours. BRING IT ON!!

If you know my husband, you always know where you can find him on a friday night. With season's tickets, he is there to support his Kitchener Rangers whenever possible. I on the other hand go only a couple of times a season. It isn't that I don't like to go, actually I enjoy it when I do get to go, but I get so nervous and tense for them during the game I just couldn't do it every week. Thankfully I am not a hockey mom! My admiration goes out to two of my sister-in-laws who are both hockey moms. Better you than me :)

So, being that it was friday, the game was pretty much a no brainer. We enjoyed a nice dinner out, then on to the game. It was a great game! Kitchener beat the Kingston Frontenacs 4-3. I even caught a glimpse of Doug Gilmour (yes, I do know who that is). As usual I was so nervous for them, but had a great time.

We ate a little more after the game, then headed on home for some uninterrupted adult entertainment. Those of you with children, I am sure you understand the always having an ear out for the kids bedroom door opening, even in the midst of sex!! Not an issue this weekend! Hallelujah! Enough said *Blush*

Saturday morning Gord was off to work, and I got to SLEEP IN!!!!!! Oh sweet sleep, I have missed you!! Even so, I was still up by 10. Played around on my computer for a bit, finished up some laundry, and had a list a mile long of stuff to do. Instead I sat and listened to the ticking of the clock on the kitchen wall, the hum of my dryer, and the wurr of my computer. AHHHHHHH, peace. No yelling, no thumping, no Mommy, Mommy, MOMMY. Just peaceful house noises.

It was while enjoying those house noises that I decided that I was not going to do my mile long to do list, but rather go out and enjoy doing some errands and christmas shopping ON MY OWN!!!! And the blessings keep coming! LOL

We had planned to check out a movie Saturday night and knowing how Gord's days usually go at the dealership, I knew we would be going out in London. We had arranged for him to be picked up in the morning so that we could come home together in the evening instead of having two cars.

I puttered around the whole afternoon. Enjoyed driving his truck. Even got pretty good at parking it. I was totally impressed with myself when I backed into a parking spot perfectly in a horribly busy lot at the Western Fair Grounds. GO ME!

The dealership closes at 5pm on a saturday. It was 5:30pm when I arrived (knowing how it usually works). It was after 7 when we finally got out of there. The nice thing was we were kid free, so it didn't matter how late we were going to be, so a late show was no big deal.

Our movie picks were RED, Unstoppable, and something else that totally illudes me at this moment. Gord went in to purchase our tickets in advance. He came out grinning like a school boy. At this particular Ciniplex in London they have a couple of VIP theatres. You pay extra, but for a treat, it was worth it. More on that later.

Now to grab dinner at Shoeless Joe's. I had brought Gord a change of clothes (which of course he didn't want while we were at the dealership but now that we were out), so before we went into the restaurant he changed. Yup, right there in the parking lot. Have you ever tried to get someone's cowboy boots off while you are both sitting in a truck? We got them though, and Gord only got a couple looks while standing in his boxers outside.

Dinner was nice. Relaxing too since we didn't have to be back at the theatre until 10pm. Our first choice of movie was RED, but that was sold out in VIP, so we went to see Unstoppable. It is based on a true story. Not a relaxing movie. It was really good but I was a nervous wreck. LOL, two nights in a row. But so much fun! The VIP theatre has comfy recliner chairs set in pairs, so you are not right on top of anybody. It is licensed, so you can drink if you want. They have a special menu....not just popcorn and candy. Cheese sticks, potato skins, cupcakes...a full two page menu. Plus, you are served! LMAO!! An actual waiter/ess comes and takes your order and then brings it to you. You do have to be there 20 mins before your show if you want that service though. But, for a treat it was fun.

More adult entertainment....enough said.

(I will tell you that for the first time in a VERY LONG TIME, clothes were strewn all the way down the hallway)

Sunday we opted to sleep in instead of going to church. It was so nice just to be able to snuggle up close to my hubby and know that I wasn't going to be beckoned any minute.

We picked the boys up at noon and of course when we arrived they didn't want to leave.

A truly awesome weekend.

They Deserve It, and So Do I

2010-10-12T19:40:00.000-07:00

I have been struggling.

I have a lot of negative self talk.

I say I want to change.

I have lots of things to change.

but

I don't change.

I NEED to change.

I know that I am not giving my all.

Not to any part of my life.

Not to my house.

Not to my kids.

Not to my husband.

Not to my house.

Not to my church.

Not to my family or friends.

Not to my community.

NOT TO MYSELF!

Why?

I don't believe in myself.

I listen to the negative talk that is

almost constantly playing in my head.

I lose sight of all I have.

I lose sight of where I want to go.

Tomorrow

A NEW DAY

and what's more is

that I am actually looking forward to it.

A fresh start.

Yes, it might be ANOTHER one,

but that's okay

I deserve it, and I'm going to take it.

My kids and my hubby

deserve that effort from me.

So bring on tomorrow.

Reading .... Do I have to?

2010-10-05T13:43:00.000-07:00

Me: Let's do your reading.

Gabe: Do I have to?

This is the way our conversation starts almost every day after school.

Reading is NOT one of Gabe's favourite past times.

This makes me sad.

He can read.....

when he pays attention and actually LOOKS at the words,

and sounds them out

instead of trying to just guess from the pictures.

I try to get him to understand that

reading is a gateway to an

amazing world of wonder.

You can go anywhere and be anything in books.

He doesn't seem impressed.

It is my hope that one day

the light will go on

and

reading will become something

he loves.

In the meantime,

we will continue to have our daily conversation.

How do you help your kids to learn to love reading?

Got any tricks or tips?

Thank God It's Monday!

2010-10-04T07:43:00.000-07:00

THANK GOD IT'S MONDAY!

I know that this is a pretty radical statement. With most people rejoicing when it is finally FRIDAY, why on earth would anyone be thankful that it is MONDAY?

Well, if you haven't figured it out already, I haven't been having the best few weeks lately. I go through times like these every once in a while. They aren't fun. Thankfully it is usually only a few weeks and then I am back to my normal self. It can be quite the struggle while I am in it though.

So, why am I thanking God that it's Monday? Well, I am feeling pretty much back to myself today. The sun is shining(this is a BIG thing for me), the older boys are at school, baby is napping at the moment, laundry is on, and I'm feeling like I might actually have a productive day.

I have a to do list that is atleast a mile long, and a weight loss journey that has stalled horribly, a house that needs some serious cleaning, but thank God its Monday, perfect for a fresh start.

Well, I must go dear friends. I'm feeling good, and I'm not going to waste it.

Hope you are enjoying your monday!!

Some days....

2010-09-25T13:32:00.000-07:00

I know that I haven't been in all week, and for that I apologize....being sick sucks...just sayin.....

I know that it is Saturday and that I am supposed to be writing some wonderful words about our weekend or some such thing. However, I have just got to get something off my chest today.

So, here it goes....

There are some days (today being one of them, if you hadn't guessed that already) that it takes EVERYTHING i have not to look up toward the heavens and ask God.....WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING GIVING ME CHILDREN!!????!!!....

Some days I get so frustrated, then I deal with things with an even greater lack of effectiveness, more frustration, louder voice, anger, and so on til we hit a peak.....then.....

I feel like a complete failure as a Mom...again.

Why is it that I can't get my boys to understand that if they don't want to clean up a huge mess....then don't make one....

If you want to have treats because you were good.....then be good....

If you don't want mom to lose her MIND....do as she asks...THE FIRST TIME.....alright even the second time, but come on.....

I always thought that I was good with kids. I always thought that I would be a good mom.

I don't feel that way often anymore. I get disappointed in myself and worry that my severe lacking in the "AWESOME MOM" department is really going to affect them adversely. As it is, my Grade Two guy hates to read, and struggles with staying on task at school.

I worry.

I love my boys desperately, with all of my heart. I can only pray that that love can make up for so many other shortcomings of this "Struggling to be a Good" Mom.

Do you ever feel like this?

Date Night

2010-09-20T17:55:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you,

but around here,

its hard to get some

Mommy Alone time.

It is also very hard to get some

Mommy and Daddy Alone

time!

Yesterday my hubby and I had a social afternoon for his BNI group to go to.

Thankfully my awesome sister was willing to babysit.

What was even more awesome was that she was

willing to watch them not only for the afternoon of the social,

but also for the evening!

This meant hubby and I could enjoy an actual

DATE NIGHT!!!

Wahoo!

I'm not exactly sure when the last time we had the opportunity to do that was.

They are far too few and far between.

We had a lovely time at the social, and enjoyed a really nice

chat with another couple.

We actually found out during the course of conversation

that her and I share the same birth month and year.

She is only 13 days older than I am.

It was fun to meet and put faces to some of the people

hubby talks about.

The best part though was getting to go and have dinner

together

ALONE

no noisy kids, no needing to cut anybody's meal,

no making sure Isaac wasn't hoovering his food,

no 'eat your dinner please'

no mess.

Just us!

Funny thing is we picked a place to eat that was

REALLY noisy.

But the food was great.

I also had my first 'drink' in

probably more than 4 years.

I just don't drink...for no other reason than

most of it I just don't like the taste of, so why waste the money.

However,

I do like nice fruity, frothy stuff.

Yup, totally girlie drinks.

I definitely enjoyed my

Strawberry Daiquiri.

Then we were off to a movie.

There really wasn't much playing at the theatre we went to

that we wanted to see.

We decided on The Expendables.

Who wouldn't love a cast like that?

Sylvester Stallone,

Jason (yummy) Statham,

Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren,

Mickey Rourke,

Eric Roberts, Steve Austin

Terry Crews,

Cameos by

Bruce Willis and

Arnold Schwartzeneggar

Is it violent? Yup!

Was it funny? Yup!

Did we enjoy it? Yup!

It was nice to sit in that theatre,

have my hubby holding my hand,

not have to think about, or listen for the kids.

Even just for a few hours it is a welcomed break!

So, I have to say a HUGE thankyou to my big sister.

Love you LOADS and LOADS.

To my Hubby,

I love you more and more each day.

Thankyou for a really great day.

All my love.

Why Do We Fall

2010-09-17T16:50:00.000-07:00

Today's quote is from the movie Batman Begins. I chose to use this one for today's inspiration/motivation because of a comment left yesterday...thanks Melissa.

It has been said like this.....

Why do we fall?

So we can pick ourselves up again.

The actual quote is......

Why do we fall?

So that we may LEARN to pick ourselves up again.

I think that is very important part to the message! Every time we fall, we learn more about whatever it is we are trying to do. With my weightloss journey, every time I "fall", I learn more about what I am doing that works, doesn't work, the places I struggle, what things are triggers for me, etc, etc.

The more I can learn with each time I fall, hopefully the less I will have to fall.

So, as long as I make sure to learn something from each time I do fall, then it has not been for nothing.

For The Third Time

2010-09-16T15:46:00.000-07:00

Thursday is here and time for me to come clean about my journey.

I am currently in a funk. I have lost and gained the same 5lbs over and over. I believe this is now my third time around. With my loss yesterday of .4lbs I am back to 24lbs lost (31.2lbs from my heaviest), and seem to be struggling AGAIN!

I was hoping to really make a fresh start with the boys getting back to school and only having one left at home. But, that hasn't happened AT ALL!! We are now coming up to the end of the 2nd week, and where am I? Tired...really tired....and eating!

The first week was screwy with Gabe going on Tuesday, but Zach not going til Thursday. This week Gabe was home sick Tuesday, went for half the day wednesday, now Isaac is sick too. Tomorrow is friday and all I want to do is sleep! I am waiting for Zach to get it too which should make for a fun weekend.

Everyday I just keep failing to pull myself back together and get back on track. I don't want to spiral out of control. I don't want to gain anything more back. I don't want to have to lose this same stupid 5 pounds again.

So i ask you.....what do you do when you feel like you are at the end of your rope? When life just seems to be a little too much for the moment and your good old friend FOOD is taunting you every moment, and you are giving in more than you are fighting it. How do you regain control?

Today is BLOG HOP day.

Join Diminishing Lucy
at her

blog hop!

Rules are here

So come on along!

Slow and Steady

2010-09-15T19:57:00.000-07:00

Today our topic at my WW meeting was this......

Why don't we appreciate?

The conversation was about what we say to ourselves when the loss on the scale for a particular week is only .2 or so. Do you talk negatively, berating yourself for lack of effort or some other reason for the small loss, or do you say something like...hey, it's down!

Why is it that we would never look at a friend or someone else trying to lose weight and get on their case for such a loss. We would congratulate them for even the smallest amount. So why, when it comes to our own weigh ins do we criticize ourselves when we don't deem the loss as substantial enough.

For me I think its because I too often focus on my "big" picture. I have well over 100 pounds left to lose, and to weigh in and be down .4lbs (as I was today) can be frustrating, demoralizing, disheartening etc. That is when I need to change my focus.

Stop thinking about the big numbers and start concentrating on only the next 5lbs(or whatever you choose). Take the pressure off your weigh ins. Every .2, .6, or whatever all adds up to big eventually.

As Aesop said, "slow and steady wins the race". As long as we continue to move forward, each little piece is getting you closer to your goal. Stay the course and you will be successful.

p.s.......took Gabe to the dr. today and yup, Strep throat! Now, my 1 year old is fighting a fever. Looks like I am probably heading back to the doctor tomorrow for him. I'm praying that nobody else gets it!!

Fever and Torture

2010-09-14T10:48:00.000-07:00

Some days all I wish for is a whole day to sleep with NO interruptions. With 3 small kids, a full nights sleep is something of the past. There are some nights that are worse than others though. Last night was one of them. I didn't get to bed until midnight, and then from 2am to 6:30am was up 7 times with various children. Needless to say I am dragging my butt today.

Anyway, since its Tuesday and Tuesdays are supposed to be tales of my three boys, I will tell you about there rest of my morning. My oldest (who had been up the most through the night) was running a fever....mild, but still there. That was his only symptom, and I was trying to decide whether or not to send him to school. (It is only the 6th day of school after all, how can we have a sick day already). My middle son who is now in JK and has only been going to school on the bus for 3 days had a meltdown at the thought of his brother not going to school with him.

I had decided to send Gabe to school, and hope for the best, but as the morning progressed, and the lethargy set in, I knew he wasn't going to have a good day if I sent him. So, we broke the news to Zach that he was going to go by himself today.

Well, you would have thought that I was torturing this poor kid. I fought with him to get his shoes on. Fought with him to get his sweater on. The whole time he is wailing. I kept trying to reassure him that everything would be fine and he'd have a great day, just like the last 3, but he was having none of it.

We got outside to head down the driveway to meet the bus and he grab onto the railing at our stairs....still wailing. I pulled him off and kept heading for the bus. We started down the driveway (long country driveway) and the whole way he wailed. He told me he was going to throw up. He said he hated school. He said he would stay in his bed (lol....this came out because I had told Gabe if he was staying home he would be in his bed, not watching tv or playing games). Still we pressed on. Arriving at our pick up spot he is STILL wailing, pleading with me not to send him.

The bus arrives and I can see the drivers face as she pulls in. She can already tell there is an issue with him. She opens the door, I tell her Gabe is sick and not going and that's why Zach is having a fit. (She is wonderful!!!) She looked at me, said OK, just give him to me. I literally had to lift him up the stairs into the bus. He was fighting with all he had to not get on. She grabbed a hold of him and I backed out of the doors. She held on to him while she closed the doors, and promised to call when they got to school. As she backed up he was in the window and did wave goodbye to me. The windows are tinted so I couldn't tell if he was still crying (which is probably a good thing).

I did my usual wave and watch the bus head back out our driveway and down the street and as I turned to come back to the house, I burst into tears. That was SOOOOOO much harder than the first day of school had been. I knew that I had to make him go otherwise we would have the same problem the rest of the year. He needed to figure out that he can do it on his own without his brother. I KNOW all of that, but it hurt so bad to see him that upset with me. I felt like a horrible Mom.

I did chat with the bus driver and she said he was fine within about 5 minutes. She reminded me that it is always so much harder on the Mom's, but you MUST do it or you create an even bigger problem the next time.

None the less, It was an awful feeling and I can't wait for him to get off the bus so I can hug him and tell him how much I love him.

A New Schedule. A New Routine

2010-09-13T08:51:00.000-07:00

It's Monday! This is the start of my first week with my "new" schedule! I have two boys in school fulltime now, so it's just me and Isaac once we get them onto the bus at 8:15am and off again at 3:45ish.

As I type this Isaac is taking his morning nap. I have dishes done, laundry on the line, another load in the washing machine, boys beds are made and room is straightened up (that will be part of THEIR new routine starting tomorrow). Still have lots to do, but ready to have the time to myself to do it now.

I don't know about you, but I have a list that is longer than my arm of stuff that I have been meaning to get done, but with 3 kids at home for the summer, just never seemed to find the time. I am hoping to get that list tackled quickly, because a lot of it needs to be done before the snow flies.

Things like (in no particular order)...
* sand and repaint a dresser
* sand and repaint two old school desks
* get all of the flowerbeds cleaned out and ready for winter
* organize the sunroom/porch
* organize the playroom
* organize my Avon business and GET SELLING!!
* finish unpacking the stuff still left in Isaac's room (yes we moved a year ago and I still have unpacking to do!)
* get back to a regular exercise routine
* meal plan!
* paint the boys room
* clean and organize the garage
*
*
* and the list goes on.....

Here's hoping to getting this week off to a great new start!
What things do you have on your list?

September 11, 2001.....I remember.

2010-09-11T18:57:00.000-07:00

What do you choose to remember? Everyone seems to be asking today if you remember where you were when you heard of the attacks of September 11th. Do I remember? Yes, but what else do you remember?

There was so much devastation, destruction and death that day, but there was also amazing heroism, selflessness, love, hope and miracles. It is a day that touched everyone is some way. We will be forever changed, the world will be forever changed.

I prayed alot that day and the days following it. I prayed for those who died, those who survived, those left behind, those who gave their lives to save others, those who committed these horrible acts, for my family. I thanked God that I wasn't there, that my family wasn't there, for all those that were saved, for all of those He took home that day.

Today, I pray and thank God for all those things again. I hugged my children close and was thankful that they had yet to be born on that fateful day. I thought about what I will say to them in a few years when this anniversary comes around again and they are old enough to know about it and ask questions. I pray that I will have intellegent, heartfelt answers for them.

There are times when I question the value of progress. We have made such advances in medicine, architecture, science, technology, education, and so on, but we have also made advances in weaponry, warfare, and terror.

What advances have we made since that day in 2001? Are they good? Are they bad? Are they making things better or worse? What kind of things will be changed forever because of that day? What does the future hold?

What Would You Have Been Like?

2010-09-10T19:22:00.000-07:00

He would have been 14 today.

On this day in 1996 my brother and sister-in-law (as well as the rest of our family) faced a tragedy that still breaks my heart today.

Joshua Robert Wiens was due to make his much anticipated entrance into the world right around my brother's birthday on the 8th. What a present that would have been. Unfortunately this precious baby would never take his first breath. What should have been the celebration of the birth of this first born son, first grandson, first great-grandson, instead became the painful news of his passing.

I can still remember standing at the gravesite looking at this tiny white coffin and thinking about how unfair this was. Across the cemetery was another funeral of some man I didn't know, but I found myself looking at the regular sized casket, and the very large group of family and friends that had gathered for his funeral. They were remembering the life of this gentleman, and from the number of people I would venture to say it had been a good long life. But, here we were, our small group of maybe 20, about to say good bye to this little boy we never even got to say hello to.

I remember hugging my sister-in-law and feeling so helpless. Feeling her sob, and knowing there was nothing I could say or do that could make any of this make sense, or hurt any less. I remember how sorry I felt for my brother, but how proud I was of how he handled everything, and how even with his own pain, he felt sorry for the doctor who had delivered Joshua because she had never lost a delivery. What an awesome guy.

Joshua would have been 14 today. I would have loved to meet him. I wonder what he would have been like? My brother was also blessed with two more sons, and I'm sure that Joshua would have been alot like them. Probably with the same reddish brown hair and brown eyes. Would he have liked hockey as much as his dad and brothers do? Would he like school? ummmm, not sure many 14 year old boys like school. Would he have a girlfriend? LOL, probably not if his Mom had anything to say about it. Would he like to sing? Would he be an athlete or a book worm?

I imagine he would have been a pretty cool kid.

As I sit here tonight with tears streaming down my face, I am looking back on it as a Mom. I have been blessed with 3 beautiful boys of my own, and can't for a moment imagine life without them. I remember the fear I felt as we waited for each one of them to arrive safely. Our last son was born just over a year ago, and my husband made the suggestion to remember Joshua in a special way. So, our third (and final!!) son's name became Isaac Joshua.

Dear Nephew,
Even though I never got to meet you, you will always have a special place in my heart.
Love Auntie Jess

p.s I have had a little trouble writing this post tonight, and might come back to fix it a little.

Wii Fit Plus

2010-08-18T20:58:00.000-07:00

Exercise. Is exercise fun to you? Not for me. Exercise has never been something that I was all to excited about doing, and it certainly isn't something I cared to do every day....not even 3 times a week. However, when you begin a journey to lose weight and get healthy, you know that the introduction of regular exercise into your routine is inevitable.

A couple of months ago I purchased a Balance Board and Wii Fit Plus DVD for our Wii. My sister and I played it once, then it sat for 3 weeks. Then we pulled it out again and played a little more. Another few days went by and my sister was out to the house again so we decided to try it some more. That was the time it clicked for me. We played on this balance board for over 2.5 hours that night. We laughed at each other, got frustrated at the game, opened some harder levels, sweated like mad, and had an absolutely blast!!

Who da thunk that playing a video game could make you sweat so much, and keep you wanting to do it again and again?!

I have found a couple games in the Aerobics section that I enjoy. The Advanced Step, Rhythm Boxing and Rhythm Parade are 3 of my favorites. I play them over and over again trying to beat my high score. Before I know it an hour has flown bye, and I'm sweating hard. I would never had believed how much fun it can be. If I still feel like playing around then I go to things like Advanced Skateboarding/Super Hula Hoop, and Rythm Kung fu.

I am looking forward to getting back home and getting to do it again! High Scores, here I come!!!!!

What do you do for exercise, and is it fun?

Life Jackets and Water Wings

2010-08-17T21:07:00.000-07:00

Another great day here in Embrun. My sweet sister-in-law took the boys for me this morning when the woke up at 6am, and let me sleep. She is totally awesome. She had them dressed, fed, and heading to the park before I even headed for the shower. The sleeping in was very, very appreciated.

Anyway, moving on to todays Tales of Three....

My boys don't know how to swim. That doesn't stop them from wanting to go in a swimming pool though. I was smart however and asked one of my other sister-in-laws if I could borrow several life jackets before we left home.

Yesterday Isaac was the first in the pool with his oldest cousin Ben. The life jacket didn't work so well and made it very difficult for Isaac to hold on, and he was thoroughly unhappy. Once we took it off, he was great, and loved being in the water. Then there is Gabe. Life jacket on, up the ladder, and within 5 minutes is merrily bobbing around the pool. Now it is Zach's turn. We got him into his suit, then into the life jacket. He went up the ladder, sat down, and that is where he wanted to stay.

After some prodding from my youngest nephew, Cameron, I too ventured into the pool. MAN was it COLD!!!! But, I was still in within about 5 minutes. Now, Zach is still sitting on the top of the ladder with his feet in the water. He even got off the ladder so as not to be made to go in when I was getting in.

I prodded him to come in with us, and he wasn't feeling that so much. LOL. Now me being a little stubborn about some things, made him come in with me. I think in total he was in the pool for less than 15 minutes and he cried the whole time, and held on for dear life. I have no idea why he had that kind of issue? He has never had a bad pool experience, but he certainly was not impressed. Once he stopped crying we let him get back out.

This brings us to tday. Ben and Cam get in the pool in 2 seconds flat. For Gabe we decided to try Water wings this time. He did absolutely awesome. Once we got him settled enough in the freezing water, I made him try to touch the bottom. The first time he said he couldn't, but after serveral attempts he figured out that he could touch and then he was off. He was thrilled to be swimming , and was really doing well with it. I was very proud of him.

Zach is another story. He got back into his swimsuit, back in the life jacket and sat back at the top of the ladder. He didn't want to swim, but he didn't want to have his nap either. Eventually the nap won out. Back out of his swimsuit, and the life jacket, I took him upstairs for the nap while he proceeded to cry that he hoped it would rain so he wouldn't have to go in the pool. lol I only napped with him until his was asleep, Thankfully he slept for afew hours!!!

Now it is very dark out, and I need to get some sleep. I will post some of pics as soon as I soon!!

Are We There Yet?

2010-08-16T20:18:00.000-07:00

Very early this morning, the boys and I began our trip to see my brother, sister-in-law, and my 2 nephews in Embrun (Ottawa area). I had packed everything in the car last night so that all I had to do when I woke up was put the refridgerated things we were taking in their cooler, wake the boys for bathroom visits, get them dressed and we'd be out the door.

I had even gone so far as to pick up another set of headphones and an adapter to make the headphone jack on the car dvd player take 2 sets of headphones. That way I would be able to listen to my music on our 6.5 hr car ride instead of their movies.

However, when I went to put the adapter into the player late last night and get it set up in the car, it managed to push the connector piece inside the machine making the headphones unusable, and me some what annoyed. Oh well, shit happens, move on, get to bed cause 4:45am will come way too soon.

By the time I had finished messing around making sure I had everything and that I had done everything I needed to, I crawled into bed around 12:30am. My alarm rang at 4:45 and I was out of bed at 4:50am. I got myself ready, got the stuff from the fridge, grab afew last minute items and got them all in the car. I woke the boys, changed Isaac, everyone gave Daddy kisses goodbye and we piled into the car.

Boys are buckled in and I turn on the DVD player to find out that not only did it mess up the headphone usage, it has messed up the sound totally. There was NO sound!! So now I have a 6.5hr drive in the car with an almost 7 year old, a 4 year old, and a 1 year old and no movies to occupy them. Now, before you think that I didn't plan very well if I was going to let my kids watch movies all that time. I did take books, and afew toys, but what they wanted were those movies. UGH!!

So, off we start on our travels. We put the movie on minus the sound and for the first 30 minutes everything was fine. Then i got my first Are we there yet?

Dear God this is going to be a long drive!

If I had a nickel for everytime one of them mentioned how long it was taking or when would we get there, why do they have to live so far away, etc, I'd be a rich girl!

Far too many times for a Mom driving alone with 3 kids to take.

Remarkably, we made the trip in a few minutes over 6 hours with one 15-20ish minute stop for a pee break, a donut and some gas. Despite the constant ridicule for the long drive and the broken movie, we made it in good time.....and all my kids are still alive to tell the tale. LOL

Now I am just praying that my brother is skilled enough to try and fix it for our trip back in a few days, we might not all make it home otherwise.

My "NEW" Truck!!!

2010-08-14T07:10:00.000-07:00

Before I jump in to talking about my new vehicle, I have to say that I am beyond grateful to a wonderful man from our church who GAVE us his vehicle almost 2 years ago now when we were in the midst of my hubby's year off from work,pregnant, no money, no vehicle, and about to lose our home. This man generously donated his 1997 Honda CRV to our family. It has truly been a Godsend. When we moved to the country a year ago this vehicle was the only thing that kept me from going crazy. It allowed me to ease into country living without feeling like I was isolated and couldn't get anywhere. It enabled me to do errands, run the boys where they needed to go, visit etc. So to this very sweet man (he also helped us move) we owe a great deal.

However, with more than 300 000kms on it when we got it, we knew that it wouldn't last forever...(especially after the safety was done and it barely passed after $1000 worth of work). So the task of needing to find a new vehicle has been looming over us. The CRV was going downhill fast and I no longer trusted it to take me distances greater than about an hour . My hubby works for a car dealership and thankfully was able to work something out to get me a new truck. A little more than we had hoped to spend, but definitely needed.

Being that we have 3 boys, 1 in a regular carseat and 2 still in boosters, it makes it difficult to fit them in just anything. The back seat needs to be flat, and wide enough that I can actually get my hands between the seats to buckle them in. This was a difficulty with the CRV once Isaac was out of the infant seat and turned forward facing. The positioning of the teether bolts made it necessary to have him on the outside seat, and having 2 boosters side by side...well, it would take me close to 5 minutes to get the boys buckled in EVERY time.

I am happy to say that I am THRILLED with my new vehicle. This is not a NEW vehicle, but NEW to me. It is a 2005 Hyundai TUCSON, and I love it!! I am spoiled in it. It has heated leather seats and a moon roof!! It also has a CD player. That might not sound like much cause everyone has a cd player, but remember, i just came from a 1997....yup, you guessed it, a CASSETTE player! Needless to say, I didn't have much taped music left, but we did manage to find a few. Thankfully the radio still worked. But oh, how nice it is to listen to my cd's again when driving.

It drives so nice and smoothly. The boys no longer tell me that they like Daddy's car better. LOL. I'll post a picture soon.

I am very thankful that God has continued to provide a vehicle for us, and to my hubby for working so hard to look after the boys and I.

Well, I'm off to go get in my truck and drive!!!!

Keep Moving Forward

2010-08-13T06:51:00.000-07:00

One of my favourite quotes is from Walt Disney.

"We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."

I constantly remind myself to just keep moving forward. This weightloss/getting healthy journey isn't easy. I have good days and bad days, but no matter what happens I know I need to keep moving forward.

Every step forward I take is opening that new door to a better, healthier, happier me. I must continue to try new things, and not be afraid to go where this new path and lifestyle is taking me.

I am worth the effort. My family is worth the effort.

I WILL CONTINUE TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD!

Truth Be Told

2010-08-11T21:55:00.000-07:00

Well the last time I posted my numbers I was so thrilled to have reached my 10%. Unfortunately, I have had two not so good weeks since. The first week I gained 2lbs, and this week I only lost 0.2lbs. But, this is my journey. I just have to keep going and not let it get me down.

At our WW meeting yesterday morning we had one of our members reach Lifetime. She has lost 117lbs!! She held up a pair of pants that she wore last summer and it was awesome to see how far she had come. I look forward to the day when I can stand in front of other members and show them just how far I've come. I've even thought about what I would take as that too big piece of clothing. LOL Maybe I can inspire others as she inspire all of us in the meeting :)

Thursday's is the FAT TO FIT Blog hop over at Diminishing Lucy. Visit here for the rules to join. Its a great way to find some others who are on this weightloss journey. So come on, join in!!

Something New

2010-08-11T21:08:00.000-07:00

I'm going to try something new. I have been finding it difficult to blog lately. Not because I have nothing to say, but more because I have too much to say.

I have so many things rumbling around in my head that I find it hard to focus and get something readable out.

I have noticed that some bloggers have a type of schedule. A different topic for every day of the week. I have decided that this is what I am going to attempt to do.

Mondays - Moment for Mom
These posts will be about me and my adventure in mommyhood. Things like dreams, struggles, aspirations, fears, goals etc will all fall in this category.

Tuesdays - Tales of Three
Here is where I will share about my boys. I have three beautiful blessing from God. (Some days I wonder what He was thinking) Some posts will be about all of them and others about them individually.

Wednesdays - Working on Weightloss
This weightloss journey will be the topic of Wednesdays posts. Anything from recipes, to tips, to fitness, goals, pitfalls...anything that helps or hinders the journey.

Thursdays - Truth Be Told
MY journey will occupy the Thursday spot. My weekly weigh in results, how my week has gone, successes, set backs...etc. There will also be a link to the Fat to Fit Blog Hop each week.

Fridays - Inspiration and Motivation
Everyone needs a little pet talk every once in a while. Fridays will be little words of wisdom to keep us striving toward our goals

Saturdays - Weekend Wanderings
This will be my day to blog about whatever tickles my fancy. Maybe a great event or a news item. Maybe a suggestion for a must read blog or a great movie. Anything goes on Saturday.

That leaves Sundays - An Expression of Faith
A perfect day to share some favourite Bible verses, or maybe a passage from a book or song, or maybe a comment on a sermon. Things to hopefully make you want to know God better or just remind you about how much He loves you.

So, this will be the week. Wish me luck :)

Thanks for visiting and please come back and share your thoughts and comments.

Added Encouragement

2010-07-29T20:25:00.000-07:00

A while ago I found Lucy's blog. She created a great blog hop that is now in its 13th week. If you are looking for encouragement on your weight loss journey, you need to check it out. Go HERE for the rules and how to's, the visit as many of the entries as you like. You will most certainly find something that will encourage or inspire you to keep going. Best of luck to you in whatever journey you are on.

10% and More

2010-07-29T20:10:00.000-07:00

At this weeks Weight Watchers weigh in I finally achieved my 10% goal of 28 pounds.

I received my 10%keychain,

and my 25lbs charm to go on it

to add to my 16 week charm that I already achieved.

My journey has been slow. I have had some struggles and some small successes, but reaching this first 28pounds has renewed my desire to achieve my goal. It has renewed the will in me to make it happen, to not just sit back and let my life move forward without me.

For far too long I have questioned my ability to really be able to lose 145 pounds. Now having reached my first big goal and 35.2lbs (from my heaviest) of that 145lbs gone, I feel like it is all possible!

I CAN do this. With Weight Watchers I am learning the tools I need to be successful on my journey. I'm forming better habits, learning how to make this a permanent life style change, and being given a great deal of encouragement. I am very glad that I made the committment to Weight Watchers, but more importantly that I made the committment to myself.

My boys and my husband deserve the best that I can give them. Losing this weight is an important part of that. But it is much more than losing the weight. It is learning how to make better choices. Teaching my boys that a healthy lifestyle is important. Teaching them that any goal worth having is worth working hard to achieve.

Has it been easy so far?

NO!

Will I still struggle?

Absolutely.

Will I give up?

No way!

Fat to Fit. Come join the fun!

2010-06-24T06:31:00.000-07:00

Another week of the Fat to Fit blog hop is here. Please link up, get inspired, and share some encouragement!!

Head on over to Lucy's blog for the Rules and How to's!

I look forward to visiting you :)

Renewal is Good!!

2010-06-24T06:19:00.000-07:00

This was a truly great week.

With the renewal last week of my committment to my journey to a healthier, happier me, I made sure that I stuck to the plan, and was rewarded at weigh in yesterday!

One of the things that we had been reminded of in our WW meeting last week was...

If you bite it, write it!

If you snack it, track it!

If you nibble it, scribble it!

If you drink it, ink it!

I really tried to focus on this and wow was I amazed at how easily things went into my mouth. Every time I put something into my mouth I wrote it down. I even went as far as taking something out of my mouth (before I chewed on it LOL) because I knew I didn't want to write it down.

Anyway, I tracked, I stayed within my points, drank my water, and drank, and drank...(and peed and peed and peed). I didn't get in much exercise, but I was still very happy with how I felt during the week.

Weigh in wednesday morning was a wonderful reward. I was down 9.6lbs!!!! Now, I know that I have to take into account that I had gained a total of 6lbs in the previous two weeks, but still almost 10lbs?!! Awesome!

I am hoping to reach my 25lb and my 10% (28) goals at my next weigh in. Adding the exercise in this week and making sure I keep tracking, watching, will hopefully get me there!

I am very thankful that I have renewed my committment, and am ready to keep going!

Renewed Committment

2010-06-17T08:59:00.000-07:00

The other day I was reading one of the weight loss blogs I visit on a fairly regular basis. I have to say that it was just what I needed to read. I have to say thank you to Jack.

I have renewed my committment to me and my journey. I went to my WW meeting on wednesday with a better attitude. I knew I was going to be up AGAIN, but I had already made the decision to get back on track, and knew that no matter what the damage was, I was not going to let it change that attitude.

I finally decided that if I really want to lose this weight, get healthy, be a better mom and wife, enjoy my life etc, etc, then I had to get serious. I have been so lazy about it this time and I just don't want to do that anymore.

I know that I can do this. I AM worth it. My family is worth it!!

So, here I go! Do you need to renew your committment?

Fat to Fit Blog Hop

2010-06-17T05:43:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone. Its Thursday again, and that means another round of the Fat to Fit Blog Hop. You are welcome to join in. Visit Lucy for the rules and instructions(its very easy) and get visiting.

PLEASE CHOOSE ME!

2010-06-16T18:45:00.000-07:00

I just finished submitting my entry form for the first "season" of Win, Lose, or Blog.
I am really hoping to be chosen as a participant.
I have been coasting these last two weeks.
I have let myself get off track, which has resulted in gains.
I don't want that to be my story anymore.
I want to be accountable.
I am ready to work hard.
I want to encourage others to work toward their goals.
I want to show my boys that if you want something, you need to work hard at it.
If you work hard at it, you can accomplish great things.
I have a long journey ahead of me, but today is a new day, and I choose to take steps forward.

Fat to Fit Blog Hop

2010-06-10T14:55:00.000-07:00

I missed last weeks hop, so I wanted to make sure that I got back in this week :) Can't wait to visit you all!

Make sure you go HERE for all the rules and instructions :)

If Life Gives You Rocks....

2010-06-08T11:30:00.000-07:00

There is a quote that goes something like this....

If life gives you rocks,

it is YOUR CHOICE

whether to

build a wall

build a bridge.

I have no idea who wrote it, but I thank my sister for sharing it with me.

I have come back to this quote several times this week. Life will always give you rocks of some sort, and it is your choice what you are going to do with them. But I started thinking about how that applies to my weight loss journey.

When something comes up that upsets me, or changes my plans for the day, derails my exercise attempts, or knocks me off track, all ROCKS, what do I do with that? Do I allow them to become a wall, stop my progress, and stop my journey?

Do I CHOOSE to build a bridge that will get me back on track and back on my journey?

Off Track

2010-06-05T20:29:00.000-07:00

I get very frustrated with myself.

For two weeks running, I had good results. Then....

for some reason I allow myself to let it go. Why?

I have not been tracking what I eat....which I know keeps me on track.

I have not been exercising.....which I know I need to do.

I have been eating things I shouldn't......which I know leads to eating more...and more.

I have been allowing those things to cloud my mind....which I know gets me even further off track.

Then I get frustrated.

Then I get disappointed in myself.

Then it perpetuates the issues.

What do you do to stay focused and get yourself back up when you fall? I could use some help.

Ladies Day Apart

2010-05-29T19:16:00.000-07:00

Today was a treat.

Being a stay at home mom to 3 little boys, I very rarely get time away from them. When I do get time away, I need to make sure that I am grateful for it.

Today was one of those days.

The Women's Ministry Team from our church held their 'Ladies Day Apart' today. Having never been to one of these before, and never even having heard of such a thing, I had no idea what to expect.

I am shy and introverted. I usually keep to myself, and to walk into somewhere alone, when I don't know what is coming, what I will be asked to do, etc...is not my favourite thing to do.

I am however trying to get out of my little box, and let God work in my life.

Today was a blessing.

My Mom came out to the house to watch the boys for me, and let me borrow her car(there is a much bigger story there, but we'll leave that for another day...needless to say, it was a blessing). I had also arranged for my Father-In-Law to take my oldest son to his first softball game so he wouldn't have to miss it because Mommy was having 'ME' time.

Another blessing.

When I got there (still nervous and feeling out of my element) I was blessed again. This time by one of the other women of our church. She had been given money to pay for someone who had not come, and so she looked to me and paid for me instead.

God is so good. He knows that funds are tight.

I grabbed a tea...a nice Vanilla Earl Grey...and a muffin and tried not to look so lost. I took my seat and our day began.

There was prayer, beautiful worship songs that brought me to tears, a wonderful guest speaker who did two sessions for us, and two other ladies that did a session on Home Staging. A lovely lunch was provided, time of fellowship, and communion together at the end.

The speaker was a woman by the name of Karen Brock. She is a Pastor's wife, and a beautiful woman of God. I really enjoyed listening to what God had put on her heart to share with us. She touched my heart...many, many times. Hopefully I will get a chance to post about that another day.

It was wonderful.

I am SO glad that I went. (thank you Hubby for signing me up)

Today was a blessing :)

Thursday is Fat to Fit Day!!

2010-05-27T07:01:00.000-07:00

As you might remember, last week I joined up with the Fat to Fit Blog hop.

Well, its time for this weeks edition. So come on and link up!It is a great way to meet others on the same type of journey, be inspired, encouraged, and to do the same for others.Hope you come along.

Wednesday Weigh In (week 16)

2010-05-27T06:21:00.000-07:00

WEEK 16!!

I am very happy with my weigh in this week.

We had a lot of company on Monday and there was TONS of food, but I stuck to what I knew was good, had a couple treats, didn't feel deprived, and was really happy with the day.

My week was like that. I paid attention to what I was doing, worked out 6 of 7 days, and stayed positive.

But, you never really know how the week is going to come out on that scale.
Down 2.6lbs!

That brings my total since rejoining WW to 20.2lbs!

(28.3lbs from my heaviest weight)

I also received my 16 week 'Stay and Succeed' charm from WW!

(I'll post a picture of it when I get a chance)

I am looking forward to getting my bronze key ring to put it on at my 10% goal which is now about 8 pounds away.

I hope your week is going well and that you keep moving forward on your journey :)

I can't wait...

2010-05-25T08:52:00.000-07:00

I know that my weight loss journey will be a long one. How can it not be with almost 145 pounds to lose (119.2lbs to go)? I know it is a lifestyle change and that the changes I am making today are helping me to change my life. Each day that I continue on this journey I am one day closer to getting there.

Am I looking forward to reaching my goal?

ABSOLUTELY!

but....

I think that it is some of the 'bonuses' that I am looking forward to more than reaching that goal weight.

For example

To not be the fat mom!

(kids in school can be mean, and I never want to be a cause for heartache for my kids)

To be proud of myself!

(I know that I am probably harder on myself than anyone else. I want to be able to look at myself and know that I did it)

To have my husband and sons proud of me!

(they love me just as I am, but I know they will enjoy a mom that likes herself, a whole lot more)

Being able to be active with my family!

(right now I just don't have the energy, and don't desire anyone seeing the body I am currently in jiggling around..that could scare anyone)

Able to fit in a bathroom stall!

(and not the handicapped one)

(you know what I mean....you walk in then have to do some wild acrobatics just to get turned around to be able to sit down and do your business)

To shop for clothes in REGULAR stores!

(Shopping is one of the things I enjoy least right now, and I look forward to WANTING to go and buy some new clothes)

To fit in the changeroom and like looking in the mirror!

(it is not a pretty sight watching yourself try on clothes...especially if you've picked a size that's still too small)

To be able to wear matching pretty bras and panties!

(lace, bows, patterns...dare I say push up (lord knows that once the weight is gone the girls are gonna need some help!) and panties...well you can't call what I wear panties..that sounds much too dainty lol)

Or how about being able to sit COMFORTABLY in a theatre seat or on an amusement park ride!!

( I always pray that no one will sit right beside me in a theatre...hubby is on one side, but I prefer some space on the other side...otherwise I feel like I am overflowing into the other patrons seat.....and amusement parks...well, we haven't ventured there in years now)

Or to eat and not feel like others are judging me for eating 'that'!!

(I look forward to being the person that others look at and think...wow, how does she eat that and still look so good)

To be an encouragement to others!

(no matter where they are in their journey, no matter what their journey is, I want to show my kids and others that it is all possible if you just keep moving forward!)

Are there more?

Sure,

but we'll leave them for another day.

What 'bonus' are you looking forward to?

Fat to Fit Blog Hop

2010-05-21T19:03:00.000-07:00

In my travels through other blogs I came upon Diminishing Lucy. She is on a weight loss journey and decided to create a weekly blog hop to link up others on their own journey. This is the first week I have participated, but I hope to do it in the weeks to come as well.So, if you are on a weightloss journey and wish to find some encouragement, tips, and much more, why not checkout some of these links.

I'm a Lucky Girl!

2010-05-20T08:45:00.000-07:00

Over the last several weeks I have really enjoyed discovering new blogs. Blogs of SAHMs, WAHMs, Weightloss, Faith and so much more. They inspire me. They make me laugh, think, be thankful, and the list goes on. I have also been lucky enough to have a few of them come and visit my blog.

On some of these blogs they have Giveaways!! What a great thing! Hi, thanks for visiting my blog, here enter to win this fabulous.....! Now, I normal don't win anything, but I entered a few giveaways a couple of weeks ago. They were great products, and I thought......'what the heck'

Well as the title of this post says, I'M A LUCKY GIRL!!

Not only did I win one of those giveaways, I actually won TWO!!! I really want to share about them and the lovely women who gave them to me. So, with no further ado....

The first item I won is this children's book called "This Little Prayer of Mine" by Anthony DeStefano. It is a sweet book that lets kids know that God is always near, ready to respond to their requests. But they also learn that prayer is about more than just asking for things. It's about sharing their feelings, their sadness, their uncertainty and for giving thanks. It reminds them that they are loved, and that God will always care for them.

It is a beautifully illustrated book. I love the soft pallett of colours that Mark Elliott has used, and the pictures are easy for kids to identify with. A great book :)

This was a giveaway from Paula at Boogers and Burps. Don't you just love that name? Has to be a mom of boys right? Yup, 3 just like me :) Thank you Paula for this great giveaway. My boys and I love the book!

The second giveaway came from Jennifer at Mom vs The Boys. Yes, you guessed it, another mom of boys....and 3 at that! LOL

Her giveaway was this Lysol Healthy No Touch. I was expecting a small package, but when it arrived, this is what it looked like!! Makes a girl feel special:)

This is a great handsfree soap dispenser. You just place your hand under and it puts the soap right in your hand. It is sitting at our kitchen sink for all of those moments when your hands are slimy from raw chicken, or gooey from the cookie dough etc. It is perfect.

We have also placed one in our bathroom. This could provide great temptation for our boys, but they have been ASKED to refrain from playing with it. Truthfully, they have been really good with it, and it keeps them from turning the bar soap brown with all their dirt.

All in all, two fabulous products that I am thrilled to have won. Thank you ladies! I enjoy visiting your blogs and will continue to be a regular reader :)

May 19th Weigh In ( week 15)

2010-05-19T19:15:00.000-07:00

Another week has come and gone and its time to get back on the scale. I was hoping for a good one, and am happy with my result. Down 2.4lbs. That brings me to 17.6lbs since I rejoined WW after Isaac, and 25.2lbs from my heaviest. I am back to what I weighed when I first got pregnant with Isaac. Finally.

It has taken me quite a while to get back to this point, but I am encouraged to be here. I KNOW I can do this. I am grateful for all of the people who have been willing to come and join with me to lose some weight. Hopefully we will inspire each other on our journeys.

I am looking forward to keeping that downward trend going!!

P.S.....do you know what 2.4lbs is? Three 0.8's!!!! LOL

The Newest Addition to My Blog

2010-05-17T08:22:00.000-07:00

As you can see I have added a ticker to my blog. I have seen these on several other blogs and decided to figure out how to get one on mine as well. It took me a little bit, but I did it :) (obviously still an amateur at this blogging stuff)

I picked the snail and the grass because I felt that it is a picture of my weight loss journey. I may be losing at a snail's pace, but I am losing. If I just keep moving along, I will get there!

Now just to figure out what the heck a button is and how I make one !!

This Week's Weigh-In (week 14)

2010-05-14T05:34:00.000-07:00

(no that is not me...thankfully my legs aren't that hairy)

Sorry it has taken me a few days to get in here and make this post. I will do better, I promise.

Now, I first have to say that in my previous post I said I had lost 15lbs...that wasn't entirely accurate. I had forgotten that with last weeks gain it had dropped me back to 14.4lbs lost.

This weeks weigh in was down 0.8lbs.

15.2lbs total so far.

S:281.8 C: 266.6 G:145

Atleast its down right? But does it have to be 0.8?

I have a love/hate relationship with that number.

Over the last 7 weeks I have either gained or lost 0.8 every week but one!

That one week that it wasn't 0.8, it was 1.6.....what is 1.6?

TWO 0.8's!!!!!

Needless to say I am ready to get away from that number.

Thankfully I am finally doing some regular exercise, and hopefully will see a better result for week 15.

This is Me. This is my journey.

Honest and Open

2010-05-11T08:55:00.000-07:00

Today I have chosen to be honest and open.

This is what I posted on my facebook page today.

Here's the scoop.I joined weight watchers 15 weeks ago. The first couple weeks went really well, then I got off track. I have lost 15 pounds, but have a whole person to lose. It is easy to get discouraged . Today I decided that I am going to stop being embarrassed of my weight. I am going to tell you all that I have about 115 lbs or so that I still want to lose. Yikes eh?!

I will post every week (wednesday's)what my weigh in is. What I am hoping is that by being open and honest about where I am and how I am doing I will be able to keep myself more on track. If there is anyone out there that is trying to lose weight and get healthy, I would love it if you would keep in touch and we can motivate each other.

Honest and Open, Here I go.....

I am overweight.

By definition I am morbidly obese.

What ugly words.

I struggle with it, and have for years.

I have hidden the numbers from people for forever. I don't know why because to look at me, there is no way you wouldn't already guess. (not that you'd be guessing the numbers, but you would know that my weight is a definite issue) It is like if I didn't tell anyone the real numbers, I could deceive myself into thinking that people didn't think I was as big as I am.

I AM OVERWEIGHT.

At my heaviest I was 289.9lbs

(scarily close to the 300 mark)

I joined Weight Watchers.

(you have no idea how hard that was)

I got down to 264lbs and was really proud of myself.

Then I got pregnant with Baby #3.

(a BIG surprise)

This wasn't the only surprise in our year, and before I knew it I had regained all but 8 pounds.

(even more disappointing considering I had lost and additional 10pounds after having the baby)

When I rejoined Weight Watchers this time I was 281.8lbs

At my last weigh-in I was 267.4lbs

This is me. This is my journey.

There are days when the road seems incredibly long and endless.

There are so many pieces to this puzzle that I need to figure out. I know it is about so much more than just losing weight.

I have a LOVE/HATE relationship with my scale.

I am anxiously awaiting watching the inches disappear and smaller sized clothing finding their way into my closet!

I have goals....lots of them, but we'll make that another post.

But I will tell you that one of them is to look like this....

Are you on a journey?

Prayers please!

2010-05-10T16:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I found out that a long time family friend has cancer. I prayed for him and his family. What a scary time in their lives. I thought about how blessed my family has been to be....knock on wood...healthy. I look at my boys and pray for their health and safety.

Today I was reading a blog that I read regularly. Her post was about another blogger who's 16 month old daughter has been diagnosed with cancer!! 16 months!! I prayed for them. Then I sat thinking about my boys. My youngest is only 10 months old, and it is a horribly scary thought to think that someone so young can be hit by such a horrible disease. Again I pray for the health and safety of my boys, my hubby, myself and our families. My heart hurts for all of those suffering, not only with cancer, but with anything that is causing hurt, pain and struggle in their lives.

Heavenly Father, I ask you to sending your healing power onto these people today and always. Fill these families with your strength, lift them up when they fall, encourage them, love them.

Please go and visit http://www.mypixiedreams.com/ and give them some love and support. It will be a long journey for them and we need to encourage them.

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-09T14:17:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share with everyone the wonderful handmade gift I received from my oldest son for Mother's day. He is in Grade One .

First of all a beautiful card....

with wonderful things to say inside.....

All mom's should be so lucky :)

I also received this unique "plant". The jar was decorated and the "flowers" made with much love :)

When he first came home he was horribly upset that some of the flowers had been damaged by the rain on his way home. However with much oooing, hugs and thank you's from Mommy, he beamed with pride at what he had made just for his Mom.

Priceless!

Thankful and Another Oops.

2010-05-06T08:48:00.000-07:00

I must say that I am truly thankful. I have been doing some blog hopping lately and have been blessed to find many, many great ones. I am really enjoying seeing how other people deal with the ups and downs of everyday life. I have seen so many wonderful stories about kids, great craft ideas, funny things, sad things, great products, recipes, and the list goes on.

A lot to be thankful for right? Yes it is, but the real reason I am thankful is for the "perspective" that these woman (and some men) are showing me to have with my own life. I am going to choose to look at things differently.

I have decided that each week I will pick one of the blogs I have had the good fortune of stumbling upon and share it with my readers. (not sure how many of you are since I changed from my old blog, but hopefully you will return :))

I am starting this today with the blog that inspired my to change my perspective. Oops...There Goes My Mind is written by a mom of 5, 4 boys and 1 girl, and she is married to a deaf man. Delightfully funny. I hope you will go and visit her.

How are you looking at things today?

OOPS!

2010-05-04T14:14:00.000-07:00

I just realized that the previous post on this blog was actually written for my other blog. Hope you enjoy it anyway :)

Tuesday May 4th

2010-05-04T13:12:00.000-07:00

Today I am going to keep it simple......

I am grateful for....

Rainbows

My baby's favourite facial expression

Our six year old He-man

Brotherly Love

and that with the right perspective.....

even a weed can be beautiful.

Discovering my yard

2010-05-03T11:39:00.000-07:00

We moved into our house back in September and I just realized yesterday that we have Lilac bushes....3 to be exact!!!

So today I went on a quick little tour of discovery and found......

a couple of Peonies....

a hydrangea....

two of these beautiful bushes.....

and several hundred of these.......

There are a bunch of other bushes and plants that I have no idea what they are, but I'll find out and take some better pictures once the flowers start to come out.

A Moment in the Sun

2010-04-19T18:19:00.000-07:00

This afternoon I took a moment....

I went outside and sat in the sun on a blanket on my lawn and sipped a nice cup of tea.

Enjoyed a few kid-free moments before son#1 would get home on the bus and/or son's 2 and 3 would wake up from their naps.

Cool breeze, warm sunshine, birds singing, wind in the trees, and the sounds of the gravel pit (we live right beside Oxford Sand and Gravel and can hear the sounds of the truck moving, sorting and grinding dirt).

Just ambient noise....nice.

No chatty kids, no crying baby, no "please mum" or "why's", just nice noise.

Needed.

Welcomed.

Enjoyed.

Ahhhhh.

Thank you Lord.

I Struggle

2010-04-17T11:27:00.000-07:00

I struggle.

I am struggling.

I am struggling with many things, but right at this moment I will talk about just one.

I have been at Weight Watchers for 10 weeks now, and this past week was another gain :(

Certainly not what is supposed to be happening.

Definitely not the programs fault.
It's me.
Why am I letting myself just coast along?

Why am I giving myself excuses for not doing what I know needs to be done?

Why do I think I'm not worth the effort?

Am I just lazy?

Is it just because I don't want to get of my butt?

Is it because not doing is better than doing and failing?

Is that it??

Am I afraid to fail?

Am I afraid that I can't do it, so why bother?

UUGGHH!!!

Why is it easier to listen to the negative voices in my head than the positive ones?

Some days I get so frustrated with myself.

How do you stay positive?

How do you keep moving on the right track?

The Missing Tooth, and the price to pay

2010-04-05T19:30:00.000-07:00

Last week Gabe arrived home on the bus one afternoon and was crying as he exited. Concerned, as any Mom would be, I asked what was the matter. It took a few minutes to dicypher through his tears and mumbling, but the jist of it was that someone on the bus bumped into him and knocked out his already wiggly tooth.

Now, he wasn't upset that the tooth came out, but the fact that it was bleeding was a catastrophe for him. So to make things better I gave him a cold cloth that he could bite down on to stop the bleeding (which was already stopped), wiped his tears and made a big fuss about how cool it was that he had lost another tooth.....even took pictures!

Then Mommy made a BIG mistake.

I lost the tooth!!!! OMG! What do I do now??

I thought I had dodged a bullet when I put the boys to bed and there was no mention of the tooth. But within five minutes he was calling out to me that he had forgotten to put his tooth under his pillow for the Tooth Fairy. Oh dear God.....:(

I tried first just saying that we would do it the next night, still not letting him know that I had lost it. Then it happened.....

"Mommy, you have broken my heart twice today."

Talk about feeling like a heel. Earlier in the day I had yelled at him after getting completely frustrated that he had not been listening and I was needing to ask him three and four times before he would do things. I lost my cool and yelled at him. Apparently that had..."broken his heart". And now here I was breaking his little heart for the second time in the same day.

Bad Mommy.

Now I had to come clean. I went into his room and explained that I had lost his tooth. If I had thought he was upset before, I was mistaken. After many tears and mumblings I couldn't understand I made him a deal that I would really look hard for his tooth but if I didn't find it we would write to the Tooth Fairy and explain what had happened. Eventually he was okay with that and finally went to sleep.

I then messaged my husband expaining what had happened. He was so sweet and told me to go back and tell him that Daddy would look when he got home from work, and if he couldn't find it, he would call the Tooth Fairy cause he was pretty sure he had her number in his phone. LOL

I did go back to Gabe, but I guess all of the tears had tired him out and he was fast asleep. I went back to looking for the darn tooth. I have absolutely no idea where the heck it could have gotten too. I checked every place I had been, and places that there was not a chance in the world it would be but checked anyway......no luck :(

When Gord came home he looked for a little bit then we just decided to put the money under his pillow and we could look more the next day. (I still have not found that tooth :( lol)

So what price do you pay for the first of his top front teeth that Mommy lost? Guilt costs...lol. We put a $10 bill under his pillow.

In the morning we asked about the Tooth Fairy and he went running back to his room. Out he came waving his money. He was VERY happy. Tragedy has turned to joy.

Awesome :)

Mother-in-Laws

2010-03-28T18:04:00.000-07:00

When one thinks of Mother-in-laws they are not always thought of with kind thoughts. There are many horrible jokes, stories, and even movies about them. The stereotype of monster-in-law is one that I am sure was come by honestly for some, but there are also those that are nothing like that name would suggest.

I am luck enough to have a wonderful Mother-in-law. She is an amazing woman who is such a blessing to me, my husband, our boys and everyone she meets. She has a heart of gold. I thoroughly enjoy the time I get to spend with her. I aspire to be like her. I am humbled by her faith in the God she loves and whom I know loves her.

I am inspired by her creativity, her ability to sew (i have some wonderful clothing she has made me), knit (each of our boys have adorable baby outfits she lovingly made for them), cook and bake (you always know you are in for a great meal when feasting at my In-Laws home..YUMMY), and to get a stain out of anything (she has saved many an item for us:)) These are only a few of her many abilities.

I am blessed to have a Mother-in-law that I can truly talk to. I can share my heart openly with her without fear of judgement, ridicule or embarrassment. She listens with amazing love, honesty and a gentle way of leading you back Christ for everything you need. I have had the joy of having her with my husband and I at the birth of each of our 3 boys. It was awesome to have her nursing knowledge, calming nature, and her love for us and that precious baby being born.

She is one of the most amazing women I know. I cherish her, and am privileged to call her Mom. It is with much love and admiration that I wish her a wonderful birthday today, and may we celebrate many, many more together.

Love you Mom

March Break

2010-03-23T08:55:00.000-07:00

So how was your March Break?

Mine was good. Actually better than I had expected it to be. Having Gabe and Zach home together all week was not something I was really looking forward to. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, and love being with them, but they can get on each other's nerves which in turn REALLY gets on Mommy's nerves. I was not sure how the week would go.

But....

I was pleasantly surprised. The boys did really well together. They played, they ran, they yelled, they laughed, they snacked, they really had a good time. We had a couple of bonuses during the week too. My sister came out to spend a day with us, Gord actually got to take his day off, and Gabe had two afternoons where he got to get out without the rest of us.

His wonderful bus driver Lea plans several events during the week of March Break for her bus kids. Did I mention she is AWESOME!! She took more than 40 kids to Laser Quest on the Wednesday, and to bowling on Thursday. Gabe got to attend both. He was totally excited, and had a fabulous time at both. It also gave Mommy a break too.

We spent some time at a couple libraries, played video games, read stories, and thanks to the beautiful weather, got to spend a good couple of days outside in the fresh air.

All in all, a really good week.

Bring on Spring

2010-03-07T17:56:00.001-08:00

I am SOOOOOO ready for Spring. The cold and snow are not my favourite things. I am looking forward to seeing the first signs of spring. The new life emerging and bringing with it a sense of hope and renewal.

The boys and I are ready to get outside and start some planting. We are hoping to make some nice flower beds, as well as hopefully a small vegetable garden. Now, since neither the boys nor I have ever tried to do such things, it could be quite the chore. But, hopefully enjoyable and worth it.

Being that we moved out here late in the year, we haven't had alot of time to get out and explore our new area. We have lots of yard, trees and fields. I'm sure I will be treated to bugs, lots of dirt and every manner of found treasure.

There is a tree house. We will have to see how safe it is, and I'm not sure I want the kids going up there being they are still only 6 and 3, but we will see. A tire swing somewhere would be cool too.

There are lots of adventures to be had, but hopefully, even though I have energetic little boys, some quiet enjoyment of laying on the grass looking up at the clouds in the sky will make it into our days as well.

Gabe and School

2010-03-07T17:39:00.000-08:00

This would NOT be my Gabe.

Gabe likes to go to school.

Gabe LOVES to take the bus to school.

Gabe does NOT like to do his work at school.

I asked him one day why it takes him so long to do his work.

His simple reply was that he wants to do what he wants to do, not what the teacher wants him to do.

OOY!!

How do you get your kid to want to do the work, to want to learn and get better at things?

I want him to do well. I want him to enjoy school. I don't want to always be harping at him either.

Any ideas?

Who are you?

2010-03-02T08:16:00.000-08:00

How do you describe yourself? Do you focus on the negative? Do you only tell the good parts? Are you honest?

The other day I began thinking about all these things. Who am I? What do I like about myself? What do I not like? What would I prefer to change? So, I decide that this is what today's post is going to be about. Just me. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.....or maybe how about the Great, the Good, the Not So Bad, the Definitely Bad, and the OH MY Heavens!

This is me. Well, not this picture, but this is some of how I see myself (in no particular order)

I am a mom of three small boys.

I am not the best mom.

I yell too much.

I am not as creative or organized or patient as I would like to be.

I imagine sometimes what life would be like without them.

I am so thankful that God blessed us with them.

I LOVE them with every part of me.

I am a wife, a lover, a confidant.

I love my husband.

I don't like my body (thankfully he does)

I'm finally doing something about that.

I want to be more active with him and the boys.

I am a believer.

I know Jesus loves me.

I don't always feel He does.

I don't read my bible enough.

I have faith.

I have hope.

I have been blessed!

I struggle with feelings of inadequacy.

I worry about being judged by others.

I am a sister and sister-in-law.

I am a daughter, a step- daughter, a daughter-in-law, grand-daughter, a neice and an aunt.

I love my family.

I wish we could visit more.

I don't like to clean

I am not as organized as I want to be.

I like to drive.

I miss photography.

I have very few friends.

I would love to travel.

I enjoy time with family and friends

I worry about my kids in so many ways.

My to do list is horrendously long.

I love food.

I don't have a favourite colour or number.

I enjoy music and movies.

I would love to read more.

.........................and so on..........

Who are you?

The Scoop

2010-02-24T18:14:00.000-08:00

So here's the scoop.

I left my computer on, sitting on a side table in our family room, with the Bell stick plugged in. It was sticking out past the edge of the table. Dumb move....YUP!!! Meanwhile our six year old son was busy playing a Hot Wheels game on the Wii.

A couple things to note about that...first of all, this Hot Wheels game does not require one to jump, move, swing, or make any big movements....secondly, JUMP, MOVE, SWING and make BIG movements is exactly what my darling son was doing. Thirdly, darling son is totally oblivious when jumping, moving, swinging, and making BIG movements in his game.

Result....
Darling son's backside met poor unsuspecting bell stick and in a brief little instant, my internet service was history :(

Of course our saga can't end there. Turns out that Bell stick meets little boy's butt is not covered under warranty. UGH!!

Sore little boy's butt, many days, and Much money later.....Yippee, internet service restored.

A New Year, A New Day, A New Blog!

2010-02-09T18:20:00.000-08:00

A long time has past since my last post on Darkness to Life. That blog is special to me. It helped me find a place to be me. I could be honest about what I was feeling and get it out of my mind and off my heart. People often asked about the title and why I called it that. When I started that blog that was really how I felt. I felt like I was in the dark, struggling to find out who I was, and where my life was going.

Do I have that all figured out? Nope, but I don't feel like I am in the dark anymore. So many wonderful things have happen in the last year and a half. Has it been hard? Absolutely. Have there been amazing blessings? Unbelievably so. I am not in the same place in my head or my heart now and I want to show that.

With the start of this new year (yes I realize we are already in february lol) I wanted to give my blog a fresh look, and a new name. This is my journey. This is Me. I am Jess. So, this new blog is

"My Journey of Jess"

I welcome you. I thank you for coming to visit along my journey. I hope you will come back and visit again. Please share your thoughts with me.

I have so much I want to write about.....my 3 beautiful boys, my faith, our 'adventures' this past year, my struggles as a wife, a mom, a woman in her late 30's, my journey to get healthy and lose a 'bunch' of weight, ...and so much more.

I hope that you will find my story interesting. That it might make you laugh, make you cry, give you hope, maybe even inspire.

This is my life.

This is my journey.

Come walk a while with me.