Monday, April 19, 2010

A Moment in the Sun

This afternoon I took a moment....

I went outside and sat in the sun on a blanket on my lawn and sipped a nice cup of tea.

Enjoyed a few kid-free moments before son#1 would get home on the bus and/or son's 2 and 3 would wake up from their naps.

Cool breeze, warm sunshine, birds singing, wind in the trees, and the sounds of the gravel pit (we live right beside Oxford Sand and Gravel and can hear the sounds of the truck moving, sorting and grinding dirt).

Just ambient noise....nice.

No chatty kids, no crying baby, no "please mum" or "why's", just nice noise.

Needed.

Welcomed.

Enjoyed.

Ahhhhh.

Thank you Lord.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

I Struggle


I struggle.

I am struggling.

I am struggling with many things, but right at this moment I will talk about just one.

I have been at Weight Watchers for 10 weeks now, and this past week was another gain :(

Certainly not what is supposed to be happening.

Definitely not the programs fault.
It's me.
Why am I letting myself just coast along?

Why am I giving myself excuses for not doing what I know needs to be done?

Why do I think I'm not worth the effort?

Am I just lazy?

Is it just because I don't want to get of my butt?

Is it because not doing is better than doing and failing?

Is that it??

Am I afraid to fail?

Am I afraid that I can't do it, so why bother?



UUGGHH!!!


Why is it easier to listen to the negative voices in my head than the positive ones?

Some days I get so frustrated with myself.

How do you stay positive?

How do you keep moving on the right track?

Monday, April 5, 2010

The Missing Tooth, and the price to pay

Last week Gabe arrived home on the bus one afternoon and was crying as he exited. Concerned, as any Mom would be, I asked what was the matter. It took a few minutes to dicypher through his tears and mumbling, but the jist of it was that someone on the bus bumped into him and knocked out his already wiggly tooth.

Now, he wasn't upset that the tooth came out, but the fact that it was bleeding was a catastrophe for him. So to make things better I gave him a cold cloth that he could bite down on to stop the bleeding (which was already stopped), wiped his tears and made a big fuss about how cool it was that he had lost another tooth.....even took pictures!

Then Mommy made a BIG mistake.


I lost the tooth!!!! OMG! What do I do now??


I thought I had dodged a bullet when I put the boys to bed and there was no mention of the tooth. But within five minutes he was calling out to me that he had forgotten to put his tooth under his pillow for the Tooth Fairy. Oh dear God.....:(


I tried first just saying that we would do it the next night, still not letting him know that I had lost it. Then it happened.....


"Mommy, you have broken my heart twice today."


Talk about feeling like a heel. Earlier in the day I had yelled at him after getting completely frustrated that he had not been listening and I was needing to ask him three and four times before he would do things. I lost my cool and yelled at him. Apparently that had..."broken his heart". And now here I was breaking his little heart for the second time in the same day.

Bad Mommy.

Now I had to come clean. I went into his room and explained that I had lost his tooth. If I had thought he was upset before, I was mistaken. After many tears and mumblings I couldn't understand I made him a deal that I would really look hard for his tooth but if I didn't find it we would write to the Tooth Fairy and explain what had happened. Eventually he was okay with that and finally went to sleep.

I then messaged my husband expaining what had happened. He was so sweet and told me to go back and tell him that Daddy would look when he got home from work, and if he couldn't find it, he would call the Tooth Fairy cause he was pretty sure he had her number in his phone. LOL


I did go back to Gabe, but I guess all of the tears had tired him out and he was fast asleep. I went back to looking for the darn tooth. I have absolutely no idea where the heck it could have gotten too. I checked every place I had been, and places that there was not a chance in the world it would be but checked anyway......no luck :(

When Gord came home he looked for a little bit then we just decided to put the money under his pillow and we could look more the next day. (I still have not found that tooth :( lol)

So what price do you pay for the first of his top front teeth that Mommy lost? Guilt costs...lol. We put a $10 bill under his pillow.


In the morning we asked about the Tooth Fairy and he went running back to his room. Out he came waving his money. He was VERY happy. Tragedy has turned to joy.

Awesome :)